Decided to watch a documentary tonight that aired on PBS. It is a three part series. What is looks at is how we overcome obstacles and find happiness through human interactions. I only watched the first part, which focused on family, friends, and lovers.
Each area was explored individually and had valid points.
Family:
The very first interactions that we have are with our family. We learn through them how to interact in the outside world. Some children (namely ones in orphanages) don't create an attachment with their caregivers, which makes socializing difficult for them. There is a hormone that is released in both children and their parents when there is interaction. What they've found, is that the hormone (oxytocin; which women also release during an orgasm) is not released in children with attachment issues.
Friends:
The next step in interacting is through friendship. Studies show that chronic loneliness is just as unhealthy as smoking. People who are lonely are more prone to accidents, heart issues, suicide and many other detrimental issues. Friendship is directly related to our happiness. When our friendships falter, so does our happiness. They also made mention of conflict. It is impossible to get to know someone without conflict arising.
Lovers:
Stated as the most influential of our mood is our interaction with people that we love on a romantic level. There are so many things going on in this category. Men seek women who show signs of fertility and are physically attractive. Women seek men that are stable and do not put as much emphasis on looks. Conflict is one of the most important things to have in a relationship. A conflict must be dealt with immediately or dire consequences occur. Conflict is inevitable.
Communication and loyalty are important traits. What keeps people together? Capitalizing on successes and making the relationship exciting.
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The reason I'm writing about this is because it contradicts what I wrote in my previous blog. I said that happiness comes from within. This series seeks to prove that we can only find happiness through interacting with others.
This is a difficult thing to nail down.
Yes. We need to be able to find happiness with ourselves. We can be happy without having other people or things there.
But ultimately, if we don't interact with others, we will find that the inner happiness that we've found in ourselves is pointless if we have no one (be it family, friends, or lovers) to share it with.
We are not here to be alone. Interaction is essential. So is finding your own peace.
I agree that interaction and relationships are essential, and that we are not meant to be alone. I disagree that we can find true happiness without any relationship. Happiness is not found within, but through loving relationships. Also, peace, I believe, is not our own. To have our own peace, we'd have to either live the perfect life, with no mistakes or regrets, or live in denial of our mistakes, which would eventually eat its way through the plastic peace we've created.
ReplyDeleteRelationships are so vital. There have been studies that show a direct correlation with incarcerated men and their family situation growing up. An extremely high percentage of those men had no father figure in their life. Same goes for guys who join gangs...they are seeking a connection, a relationship, a family.
I don't know exactly where you stand in your belief system, but as a Christian, I find that there is no greater relationship than the one I have with Jesus. It is the one that provides me with a peace beyond understanding. Does that mean I am always at peace, absolutely not. Unfortunately, I get in the way of that peace way too often, but there is still always some peace there in knowing that I can come right back to Him even though I may have strayed.
You said, "We are not here to be alone." I agree, and so does God, according to the book of Genesis. Even though Adam had a relationship with God, God said, "It is not good that man should be alone, I will make him a helper." God's design was for us to have relationships in life.
Oh, I forgot, I wanted to comment on the conflict thing. The documentary was right on. I tell people that they shouldn't get married until they have had a full-on, blow-up fight with their significant other. Otherwise, they will be in for the shock of their lives when it happens later.
ReplyDeleteAlso, couples who never fight are headed down a path to divorce. I say this because there is absolutely no way that two people will always see eye-to-eye on every little thing. If they are giving off that impression, one, or both of them, is lying about their true feelings. Which means they are holding them inside. This builds up over the years and instead of having a few smaller fights or arguments over the course of several years, they explode all at once with years of suppressed feelings and thoughts of resentment. Better to fight now and maintain a happy marriage, than pretend to be happy and lose it all. I use marriage as an example, but the same holds true for other relationships, as well.
Thank you for your input, Tim! :)
ReplyDeleteYou are very welcome! =^ )
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